Every child has a favorite parent at certain times of childhood! Usually this is chosen according to the criterion "which spoils me and plays with me more". The other, who has a habit of quarreling when he is wrong, sometimes punishing him and saying NO to many of the wishes thus becomes the bad, less agreeable or 2nd parent in the child's preferences.
Should you worry?
In general, the parent who does not ask for it and satisfies all desires is also the number 1 in the top of the child's preferences. It is also normal for little ones to make such preferences. In most families there is a parent that the child is closer to, but most of the time they change their preferences quickly.
So, sometimes mom is the one she loves the most, sometimes the dad. It is important that you do not pay too much attention to this and do not take it personally when you are in the position of the less pleasant parent. Do not take it as a critique of your parenting style and in no way will it disregard you as a parent.
We propose a small test that will help you to realize your value as a parent. If you answer "yes" to the following questions then you can stay quiet because you are a very good parent:
- Are you available to the child when he or she needs you?
- Do you spend time with your child?
- Do your parental duties: feed, dress, protect, play with him, read them etc.?
- Do you make sure that the child fulfills his obligations to go to school, to treat others with respect, to behave in public, etc.?
- Do you talk to your little boy often and listen to him every time he has to tell you something?
Then you can say that you are a very good parent, who loves his child and takes care of him in the best possible way. So, even if your little one is more like a "hate you" when you do not agree to buy the toy he wants or tells you that you are the worst parent, do not put your soul.
In addition, you can even take advantage of the less agreeable parenting position. We must admit that in the life of any parent there are times when he has no desire or willingness to play with the child, to take him out to the park, to take lessons with him and so on. You can sit still, nor will he appeal to you for all this. It will go to the favorite parent of that period, when you can relax in a foam bath or read a good book.
It is not necessary to ask the account or talk to the child about this "problem". You could draw his attention to this aspect and even induce him the idea that he must have a favorite. The fact that this affects you emotionally is not the child's job and it is not his duty to handle it, so it is not the case to stress it even worse.
You have to keep in mind all the time that little ones change their preferences very quickly and that today he says he loves dads more, but tomorrow he can change his mind and he will tell you that you are actually his favorite model. Never try to bribe him with sweets or toys with the idea of attracting his attention and "buying" his affection.
It also does not mean that you have to quarrel less when he is wrong or to let him do what he wants, not to upset you and to love you less. These things are important and are part of the child's education and discipline. Remember that little ones love their parents as much, even if at times they have a lot and are a little upset about their parents.
Later on it will thank you!
It is best to talk to an adult about your concern or seek professional help if you feel that this topic is bothering you more than you should. Sometimes, when you experience the feeling that your little one does not love or dislike you, you must find out the cause or origin of these conditions. Often, this is not in the relationship you have with the little one, but in certain tasks or confusing situations from your past, from childhood that have marked you and still persist.
Tags Raising children Love of parenting children Parent-child relationship Child communication problems