Parents from all over the world, don't forget to be parents! Include in every moment the definition and human meaning of the word "parent" - encompass the love, care, love, attention and joy in raising your child. From these values your child flourishes, from them he feeds and extracts the necessary sap to become a responsible and capable mature.
W. Livingston Larned, an American author, conceived, in a moment of sincerity, a letter called "Father forgetting," which evokes the purest and most sincere feelings of a father toward his own son. It is a moment of reflection and "forgiveness of mistakes for forgiveness of sins ... as a parent!" It represents an awareness of the mistakes of approach in raising the child, a useful and practical guide for all parents who still do not realize that the child is not the cause of all their problems.
We live in times when the child is a miniature copy of an adult: he is not allowed to make mistakes, he must study on breaks, be responsible, work to obtain and develop as many skills as possible to succeed in life. In addition, he is criticized, judged and convicted for his often inappropriate behavior in a barbarian style or that leaves him wanting. It doesn't help to tell him "you threw the toy at me, now you get beat". Be a guide for your child, letting him ride both physically and emotionally, point out his steps when he is about to fall into the void and not last, love him whatever he does.
Don't forget to tell him and always demonstrate this to him and let him enjoy his childhood. Try to understand your baby instead of accusing him, punishing or certain, maybe it's time to encourage him and praise him rather than criticize him and teach him instead of judging him that he doesn't know - be his right hand in trying to to "write" his childhood. Be for him, as our author says, a trusted friend when he needs you, suffer with him and be a true parent. Do not treat him as an adult and do not throw your nerves on him when the boss announced your salary reduction. He's not at fault.
Larned's words "It's just a kid - a boy and nothing more." Bite your tongue before yelling, as the author directs, and stop treating it as an object created and manipulated by you. He never goes on the premise "I made you, I kill you" and does not try to impose your views on his choices. Let him be wrong, who doesn't? Allow him to steal more time on the playground, even if you are waiting for a dishwasher and a full washing machine.
Let the childhood unfold in all its forms
Not the 5 courses you enroll, 3 meditators, a good and multiple verbal or physical palms for disciplinary purpose transforms your child into a strong, healthy, happy and successful adult. Not if you send him to Switzerland or the USA to learn you will train him.
Give him love and dedicate time and opportunities and you will "bake" the most beautiful, capable and successful product of your life
Quarrel with him when he deserves it, and when you do, confess his love. Educate him by always keeping in his hand the book of love, understanding and the right words!
"Tata forget" - W. Livingston Larned
"Listen to me son: I talk to you while you sleep, with a cheek on your cheek and with your blond and wet curls gathered on the sweaty forehead. I slipped alone into your room. Just a few minutes ago, while reading the newspaper in the library, I was overwhelmed by remorse.
I came near your bed with a deep sense of guilt. Here's what I was thinking, son: I was always upset with you, I quarreled when you got dressed for school because you wiped off the towel on your face too fast. I sentenced you for not cleaning your shoes. I screamed nervously at you because you threw some of your stuff on the floor. I considered you guilty for breakfast too. Pour the drink, spread the food, put your elbows on the table. You were greasing your bread with too much butter.
And when you went to play and I went to work, you came back, you made me a hand and you said, "Daddy, dad!", And I frowned and I answered : "Straighten your shoulders!". Then it all started again the same afternoon. Returning from work, I spied on you; you were kneeling and playing with your balls. Your socks were pierced. I humiliated you in front of your friends by bringing you home by force. Socks cost money - and if you had to buy them, you would have been more careful! Imagine it, son, this is how a father wears it! Do you remember, later, as I was reading in the library, and you entered the house with a shadow of pain in your eyes? When I lifted my eyes from the paper, annoyed at the interruption, I slammed the door. "What do you want?", I rubbed. You didn't say anything, but you ran away and threw yourself into my arms and kissed me, with the little sleeves wrapped around my neck so lovingly, that God himself gave you and that neither could he be killed. And then you went slowly up the stairs.
Well, son, a few moments later, the paper slipped out of my hands and I was filled with a terrible horror. What had made of me the habit? The stupid habit of looking for knot in the rush, to argue - this was the reward you received because you had a boy. Not that I didn't love you, but I was asking too much from your childhood years. I had set my own age as a criterion. And there was so much kindness, beauty and truth in your soul.
Your little heart was as perfect as the dawn that triumphantly envelops the gentle hills. All this was gathering in your momentum so that you could kiss me and wish me a good night. Nothing else matters tonight. I came to your end in the dark and knelt there, ashamed! It's a pale atonement, I know you wouldn't understand all this if I told you when you were awake.
But tomorrow I'll be a real daddy! I will be your trusted friend, I will suffer side by side with you and I will laugh when you laugh. I'll bite my tongue before I argue. I will always repeat, as in a ritual: "It's just a kid - a boy and nothing more" I'm afraid I treated you like a man. And yet, son, now that I see you crouched and stubborn in your crib, I realize that you are only a baby. Until yesterday my mother was carrying you in arms and resting your staple on her shoulder. I asked you too much, too much. "
Tags Raising children Parent-child relationship Child communication Child education Mistakes parent education Child moral development