All parents show some fear when they prepare for the arrival of the second child. The biggest concern is the reaction of the child to the appearance of a new baby in the house and to the fact that he may be jealous or that he may feel neglected. You always wonder if it is better to talk about the new sibling appearing during pregnancy or after the baby is born and how to do it!
When should you talk to the child about the new brother?
It is important to talk to the child about the new sibling several months before the baby is born. Possibly even when the pregnancy starts to show little. That way you will have enough time to accommodate him with the idea that he will have a new brother and what this entails.
What to expect?
After you first tell the child about the new sibling, leave it for a while to brainstorm the idea. He will not talk about this subject all the time, but will be tempted to ask you questions from time to time. Do not force him to talk about the subject if he does not show interest.
You may be asked questions such as:
Is it in your belly?
Can you move there?
How to eat?
What is he doing there? and so on
You can answer these questions by provoking him to think of himself. Ask him "what do you think he's doing there?", "Do you think he's moving?" and so on When children are asked something they usually have an idea about the answer, they are not totally ignorant. In this way you stimulate their creative thinking.
Small talk about the new baby on the road should always be positive and open. He doesn't need to know that you have unpleasant pregnancy symptoms that make you feel bad, so don't focus on them. If you are sometimes extremely tired because of the pregnancy you can say in the following way: "Babies move a lot in the belly. Sometimes this is tiring. I had moments when I felt tired and when you were growing up here, in my belly."
Here's how you can help your child become more familiar with the idea of coming to a new brother:
let him put his hand on his tummy when the fetus moves;
you can ask him to sing along with you to the baby in the womb;
if you want to move the baby from the room to make room for the newborn make sure you do this long before the baby is born, so that you do not feel replaced or neglected;
read stories about brothers and sisters to help him figure out how such a relationship works;
take it with you to a medical consultation where you can hear the heartbeat.
How do you make him understand what a new baby will be like around him?
The most important instrument in this regard is communication. Talk to him about how he will be with a new baby around, especially with a little one.
describe to them what a newborn looks like and how they grow up (use photos with him since he was young to exemplify);
explain to him that when his brother is born he will not be able to play as he does and that he will spend more time in the crib sleeping, crying and that he will eat more during that period;
tell her that newborns cry because it is the only way they can convey that they need something;
visits friends and relatives who have very young children to exemplify exactly what you tell them.
The most important thing is to associate the discussions about the newborn's future with his person. At each explanation you give, tell him that he was like that and did the same and that over time he grew up. Show him photos and objects that you kept from him during that time. Tell him how much he was expected and loved and how much attention he was given. These things help him understand that he was once a baby and will lessen the jealousy of the birth of the new baby, when he will sometimes pay more attention.
Involves the child in various plans and activities related to the new baby
If you can and are interested, involve him in various things related to the new child:
ask him what color is most beautiful for the new baby's room;
take him shopping when you want to buy things for the brother and ask his opinion on the model of the crib, the stroller, etc .;
ask him to help you arrange the clothes of the new baby;
let him play and explore the things of the new baby even if he is not yet born.
This way he will feel involved in the preparations and will not feel that he is being sidelined.
As you approach the date of birth you will go through many physical and psychological changes that can affect the child. He may become anxious a few weeks before birth. He also sees the physical changes you are going through, but he also feels the worries and fears of giving birth that he is trying and can easily feel helpless and insecure, developing some fears. You need to spend time with him and be with him when he needs you. In this way you will restore his confidence in him and he will feel protected, secure and will not develop the fear that you will leave him after the birth of the new brother.
Tags Preparation of the baby brother Communication of children Emotions of children