An article by
Psychologist, Organization Save the Children Romania
Emotional intelligence. What is it and why is it important?
They often ask parents what their children would like to be when they grow up. The answers are almost invariably in the range: "messy", "determined", "independent", "safe on him".
At the question "How do you want to be your child now?", The answer often comes: "good, good student, with high grades". But not always "the good student, with high grades" becomes the adult "misguided", "determined", "independent", "confident on him".
What's going on? The key is emotional intelligence ...
Psychology studies over the last decade have firmly stated that emotional intelligence and the ability to establish relationships with others are the main predictor of success in life.
For parents, very good grades and school awards are probably the main guarantee for the child's success in life. That's right, school performance is welcome, but not enough. Moreover, statistics show us that many of the former students, not even bright, are now adults, both professionally and personally.
For a more harmonious development, it is best to take care of your child's mind and emotions as well. If grades and academic performance give us a measure of the mind, how can we realize that we have emotionally intelligent children?
What does an intelligent intelligent child look like?
The emotionally intelligent child:
Observe your child, regardless of age, and encourage friendship. Why is it so important for a child to have friends?
Because friends are:
Optimal learning period of emotional skills, and therefore of developing emotional intelligence, is given even from the first years of our child's life; thus, the period of preschooling is essential, because when children learn the vocabulary of emotions, the association between emotions and life contexts, the facial expression of emotions (for example, they learn to decode a frowning face as a sign of worry or upset, a smile as a sign of joy etc.), modalities of reaction to the emotions of others.
Parents are the first to contribute to the development of children's emotional abilities, by expressing their own emotions in the family, through the reactions and behavioral response to the child's emotions and by creating contexts in which emotions are spoken. For example, a parent who raises the tone when he is unhappy with something, will teach the child (through behavioral modeling) to raise the tone in the first more difficult situation; In a family where there is no open talk about emotions and no one shows what they are feeling, the child learns that expressing your emotions and talking about them is inappropriate or even a sign of weakness.
There are specialized studies that show that the expression of positive emotions towards children is a predictor for the empathic abilities of the children and their good social functioning in the primary classes.
What can you do as a parent to stimulate the emotional intelligence of your child?
And do not forget ! You are the first and most important landmark in your child's life. From you learn patterns of reaction and behavior, which are the essential things in life and how important it is to value ourselves and to respect ourselves and those around us.