From the desire not to be too protective and strict with your child, you risk becoming, without realizing it, a too permissive parent. The risk of such a parental style is that the child turns into a spoiled and unmanaged tyrant, who knows no limits. Here are some signs that help you figure out whether or not you are a too tolerant parent and what steps you need to take to impose limits on your child's education and discipline!
A moment of inattention is sufficient in the way you educate your child so that between you and the child a change of roles can take place: he will acquire the authority you should have over him, and you become a poor "child". "obedient and obedient to his wishes. Many parents do not even realize that their child gets to do the law at home, and when he realizes the mistakes they made in his discipline, it is late!
The child is rebellious, independent and brave enough to undermine your authority and not listen to you anymore! Identify alarm signals that indicate that you are about to allow the child to shake his head and quickly take action to remedy the situation!
Turn the child into a friend
It is important to constantly remind yourself that between you and the child is a relationship of authority and not one of equality. You are his parent and you have the role to educate him and discipline him, not to be confidant or to share in the crazes he does.
Turning a child into a friend is one of the mistakes parents often make, especially when they reach adolescence. They do so in the desire to get closer to their child and strengthen their relationship with him, but they do not realize that they are doing a disservice to his development and education.
Regardless of age, the child needs a parent who has authority over him. Only in this way can you help him to make the right decisions for him, to be polite and to assume and repair his mistakes alone.
The material reward of the child
Although you are against bribery and emotional blackmail in disciplining the child, it is possible to fall into another trap, quite similar to these: rewarding the positive actions or achievements of the child through gifts of a material nature.
You tend to get the latest gadgets on the market, the most fashionable clothes and other gifts you want when you take a good note or succeed in a competition. You have the impression that in this way you do not bribe the child, but only reward their successes. In essence, it's about the same thing and you do nothing but help the child to value more than the material things should.
In addition, you are the type of parent who goes on the idea that the little one has to get in touch with the virtual world from an early age, to enjoy the latest fashion accessories and that he deserves all the best. You risk relaxing the limits in his discipline a lot and letting him "get his head around". In addition, you subject him to dangers when you let him navigate his head on the internet or sit unattended in front of the TV.
First of all, it is important to talk to the child about the negative impact that modern technology has on his health. Next, you must impose strict rules regarding the use of the computer and the TV. In this way, you manifest your authority over him, but also give him the opportunity to discover more creative and active ways to have fun and relax in his free time.
Satisfying wishes and avoiding conflicts
There are parents who prefer to quickly follow all the wishes of the child in order to avoid the scandal that he does whenever he is denied something. Without realizing it, the child takes advantage of these reactions and begins to use hysteria as a means to get what he or she wants. It is the moment when the relationship of authority between you and the child changes, and the little one takes the reins of his education and discipline.
It is important to keep the child from the habit of resorting to conflicts and temperamental outbursts when a wish is not fulfilled. But equally important is the way you convey to them that they will not receive what they want at that moment. It is advisable to listen carefully to the child and to always discover the reasons why he wants a toy, a clothes, an electronic device, etc.
Starting from his answer, you can help him understand why he doesn't need that thing or why you can't take it then, but in a firm but friendly tone. When he rebukes, remind him of the rules regarding such behaviors, but especially his consequences. When you violate the rule, you immediately apply the default penalty.
Sometimes, you need to get involved in the conflicts and scandals that the little one erupts just to teach him important life lessons. The solution is not to avoid them and allow the child to decide everything, but to control these situations intelligently.
Using the school as an excuse
Didn't you happen to hear yourself frequently saying to others, "I don't get my child to do homework, because he has to learn. I prefer to let him study!"? There are many cases where parents use the school as an excuse not to involve it in homework or other activities from which they might learn important skills for the future.
On the other hand, the child is the one who invokes many schools as an "exemption" from domestic duties. He knows that you, as a parent, will never put cleaning in the house before the study, so he always tells you that he has homework, learning or a project to complete to avoid the hassle.
Accepting such behavior damages the child's development. Homework helps him become more responsible, independent and appreciates the effort to maintain cleanliness and order. For this reason, it is important to teach the child to harmonize the school activities with the extracurricular activities in an organized program. Teach him to be orderly and to prioritize his activities and things to do one day.
Do you know of any other signs that leave a permissive parent empty? Tell us your opinions in the comment section below?
Tags Mistakes parents education children Discipline children