In detail

When grandparents get involved too much

When grandparents get involved too much

You want your child's grandparents to be a constant presence in his life, and the little one to grow in the spirit of the priceless values ​​that they instill through the prism of their experience. But grandparents' love can become overwhelming and overwhelming, especially when they keep trying to set their sights on raising their child or when their visits are unannounced and longer than it should be.

How do you control the situations in which grandparents get into the soul and life of your family more than you would like? Here are some examples where you could find the most appropriate ways to solve them with tact and diplomacy, so as not to offend or upset your child's grandmother!

The grandparents of the child invite themselves to you on the first day after leaving the maternity ward

Your child's grandparents are looking forward to seeing their grandson, as a 1-2 hour visit to the hospital is not enough to satisfy his or her kindness. That's why they call you and make an appointment with you at home, even on the first day after leaving the maternity ward.

The first day with the baby at home is special for you and your partner and you must spend it away from the eyes and visits of others. In order not to upset your grandmother very much, explain to them that you really appreciate the fact that they want to come and stay with the nephew, but that you have established that this important day is to spend it only in the company of the child and the father. Leave the invitation open for the next few days or weeks.

Grandparents cry the child with nicknames and nicknames you do not like

Grandparents have their own way of chewing and spoiling their nephew, calling them with all sorts of strange names and labels, only they understood. But when the occasional name, which you do not like of any color, becomes a habit, the situation begins to irritate you.

In other situations, grandparents (especially women) are trying to impose their authoritarian position in the bosom of your family and show you that, no matter what name you chose for the child, they are calling you to their liking, because they have a higher position. in family.

In order not to offend her feelings or to stifle the authority she thinks she has, try to convince her to give up that name by the simplest method: tell her that she is still small and that you want to get used to recognizing her name and that is why you would prefer to call him by name, not to be confused later.

Grandparents make unannounced visits and stay on your head for hours

When you are a parent it is quite difficult to organize your program so that you can successfully solve everything you propose. If your plan is overtaken by the inopportune visits of grandparents, who tend to extend hours in a row, you will not be able to do anything from what you have proposed.

It is advisable to take measures when unannounced visits become a habit. Try to send them a subtle message, telling them that if you knew they were coming, you would make some preparations, but that, not being announced, you had already made another program.

If subtle messages are unsuccessful, it's time to tell them directly that you would prefer to call before they come to visit, to make sure you are home and have no other plans. It is not recommended to go into many details and explanations. Be succinct, clear and objective, so as not to trigger a conflict!

Grandparents want to be good, but you don't trust them

Your child's grandparents would be more than happy to stay with the child while you are at work. But you know that they have poor health, that they are against the way they grow it, or that their ideas of education are quite outdated. In this context, you do not have much confidence to leave the child in their hand.

On the one hand, you are afraid that the little one is not safe, and on the other hand, that he / she might overthrow the whole program with a hard time. In such a situation, you have to overcome your fears and still give your grandparents a chance to be good. Until you prove otherwise, you have nothing to reproach.

Do not allow them to take care of the child before giving them training on his program. It accentuates the fact that, although I do not agree with everything you say, you keep dead to follow your directions. If they prove not to be the proper vouchers, you have every right to tell them that you prefer to bring someone who will respect your directions, because it is very important to you.

The grandmother of the child sets up your methods to educate and raise it

The education of the times remains for your mother-in-law or your mother the best and efficient way of raising the child. Probably it happens to you that you often attend discussions like "in my time, I was giving the baby to eat just about anything" or "when I had you, we didn't sterilize the bottles anymore and nothing happened", which sacks you.

The constant criticisms of how you care for a child or how you feed him, dress him or keep him in his arms are not easy to bear and tolerate. Act before the situation degenerates and says unwanted things. Try the diplomatic way of solving this situation.

Invoke strong arguments, related to the current research, the advice of the pediatrician, but also that you want to educate and raise your child in your own way. However, tell her that you appreciate her advice, but that the times have changed and that you follow the doctor's advice, which you trust.

Grandparents spend more time with your sister's child

At the opposite end, there is the situation where grandparents are indifferent to your child, while they are very interested in other grandchildren in the family. Whether you like to admit it or not, the fact that it doesn't give the same time and interest to your child bothers you and makes you angry.

You don't have to take it very personally. Grandparents' preference for other grandchildren can be justified by closeness (they are closer to her) or personality (she feels closer to their nature). The preference for one grandson or another is not always a voluntary decision, but it comes naturally, and you cannot change that.

In what other delicate situations have you been put by the child's grandparents and how did you get the fairy tale out of them? Tell us your examples in the comment section below!

Tags Grandparents children Care for children Raising children