If you have just become a father or if you are about to become one, you probably just assume what this means, these ideas being taken from your relationship with your father or what society expects from a father.
Unfortunately, there are few resources that could help men in this problem. But the more you reflect on your expectations of your father, the better you become.
Probably the biggest myth is that there would be a definition for a perfect father. Does not exist! You will end up making a personal opinion about what it means to be a father, depending on the degree to which you will get involved in your child's life.
MYTH 1: Only mother's feelings are important
Your partner's body changes during pregnancy and the fact that this is the one that will bring the child to the world makes you easy to believe that only her feelings are important.
Your worries about the physical, but also the mental condition of the partner during pregnancy and after that are important, but yours are equally important.
It is easy for a future dad to talk excitedly about the future baby at first, but as the time of birth approaches, the more questions he will ask, such as: Will I faint at birth? Will there be medical complications? Will the relationships between us change? In what way? Can I pursue my career and be a good dad?
The partner has to listen to your thoughts, and you have to voice them. Many men keep their fear of pregnancy and birth just for them, because they do not want to worry about their partner. Even if it is advisable to talk to her, there are some women who really want such an interaction and know that with their father's job, responsibilities come. If you talk to your partner about what you are feeling, it will bring you closer.
MYTH 2: Newborns do not need a father
The intense connection between the partner and the baby, especially during breastfeeding, puts you in the thoughts whether or not the child really needs you. You are an important person in his life, so try to be as close to him as possible, best after eating because then he can give you all his attention and so you can give his moms a moment of relaxation and recovery after lactation. You can help feed him if you give him milk with a bottle. You can also help your baby indirectly by helping his mother with homework. Do not forget! You can be very helpful in the family!
MYTH 3: Men do not know how to care for a newborn
This is a lie that manages to separate the father from their children and causes a mother's concern for the father of the child. You must know that no one is born a parent and that this will be learned over time, either by mothers or fathers.
The more time you spend with your child, the more sensitive you will be to their needs. To be sure that this will happen, you can start by taking care of the little things related to child care, so you will demonstrate to your partner that you are not so unfit and with time you could share the tasks related to child's growth.
MYTH 4: Fathers cannot separate their personal and professional lives
Men are raised to value work as the main source of income and self-confidence. The society sees the renunciation of the man to the job in favor of the family as an inability of the man to succeed in his service. More and more men are finding increasing satisfaction in the job of being a father than in a career, which is not to say that they are unable to continue their careers. Many do this just because it makes them happy.
MYTH 5: You are destined to become like your father
Your father will gain a new meaning the moment you become your father. It is normal to think about your childhood and to reflect it to some extent in the next stage of your life, as a father, but not necessarily you have to use it as a model for your father, representing only one of the influences. You can be interested in other people who have children, among relatives or friends and thus you can create your own identity as a father.
Every country, every culture sees a different father's job. For example, in some African cultures, the "father" is a group of men and not a single individual. For our dads, being a dad meant giving the family a home, a meal and an education. It is possible that our fathers did not spend so much time with us, as much as we now wish to spend with our children, but they did everything they thought would be better for us, providing us with other support.
And you have to make the right decisions for your family. As you evaluate the possibilities, try to develop your role as a parent. You can retrieve the positive parts of your childhood and add what you missed or what you think your father should have done extra.
How can you challenge the 5 myths?
• Take time to reflect on the question: How much did it affect you and to what extent did you become / will become a father? Communicate with your partner about what you feel.
• Give your child as much time as possible: cradle him, hold him in his arms and speak to him immediately after birth.
• Learn how to change diapers, how to wash them or how to feed them, try to be a part of your child's life every day.
• Think about what compromises you can make for your child.
• Choose the best qualities of your father and those who have gone through this experience to create your own identity as a father.
Tags Daddy kids Daddy raising kids