How important is it for a person to be correct in any situation? Surely you have asked this question countless times since you became a parent and you worry if the size of the cakes you give your children is the same, whether you should give them the same number of gifts or spend as much as you have time with each of them.
The answer to this question is always a negative one. You simply can't always be right with your children and you shouldn't be saddened by their complaints about this, but be prepared for a proper reply that will make them understand that sometimes their siblings need more. a lot of attention.
Thus, you will be able to build a strong character and prepare them for the things they will face later in school, in social life and even in love, when they become adults.
Children get to confuse fairness with equality
Many parents exaggerate with this fairness and end up giving children the same things, which they do not even know to appreciate to the same extent. Through these actions, you only induce your children the idea that only equality is right and that nothing outside it has no say in front of justice.
This is precisely the problem, as many parents train their children to believe strictly in equality. When a child wakes up like "it is not fair what is happening", what he really wants to say is that he wants the same thing that his brother or sister has. The result is an overwhelming one for parents, precisely because the success of providing the same and equal amounts can often be an exhausting and annoying job.
It is absolutely normal to want to see your happy children, but that does not mean that they always need the same things and to the same extent.
Fairness is rather a synonym of justice
When you want to be truly correct, you need to consider a number of factors and look at the problem from multiple angles, taking into account all the aspects, variables and needs you apply.
Justice means giving your child what he needs, when he needs it, whether you think about the practical or the emotional side. If one of the children needs a new pair of shoes because their legs have grown, it does not mean that the same thing happened with the other, as one of the children may have a harder day at kindergarten or school. and need more attention than the other day.
But the first instinct of parents is to offer children, materially and emotionally, equality, regardless of whether their needs differ. By doing this, you will cause your children to believe that it is normal to always get the same things that other children get and to form a distorted vision of life.
A better idea would be to teach him that things that he thinks are incorrect can be right from other points of view than that of equality. Your goal is to raise a child who gets along well with others and who always understands and appreciates the perspective of others, develops a sense of empathy and becomes aware that in life you will not get everything that others have only because "that's right."
Don't tell him that life is not fair
No matter how tempting it is, you don't have to tell this to your child, especially in the context of those little injustices he is accusing, often in the wrong way. He replaces this speech that means nothing to a child with one you empathize with and explains to him that what he actually wants to say is that he is unsatisfied and unhappy.
In some situations, there is no need to give too many explanations or apologize in front of him, but to tell him simply that he will not get the job he asks for. He takes advantage of situations where he really has some injustices to explain to him how things are.
Build strength and strength of character
The good news, when your child complains about lack of fairness, is that you have the opportunity to teach him to tolerate disappointments. In the lives of all children there are injustices, at least from their perspective, and you cannot make things look better by giving them equality.
Disappointments are important for his development and for maturation, even if you sometimes suffer side by side when confronted with them. Show him that you are with him in any situation and that you empathize with him, but do not accustom him with a utopian equality that he will have no part in later in life.
If you really want to build a strong character and ready to take your life in the chest, it is very important to first understand these concepts and explain them so that they do not form a wrong opinion about justice, of equality and fairness.How do you approach equality and fairness between children? Tell us your suggestions in the comments section below!
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